ADDICTED to Others: Your Guide to Transformation: Rewrite Your Freedom. Reclaim Your Power.
By Dr. Elias Rubenstein
EXCERPT
This book is an invitation—to you. An invitation to come closer to yourself, with no detours, no masks, no conditions. It is the third part of a journey many have already begun through Addicted to the Past or Addicted to the Future. But you don’t need to have read those books. Everything you need is already within you. And maybe, just maybe, you’re ready now—to turn toward the part of yourself you’ve put on hold for far too long: your true self.
This book isn’t here to tell you how to live. It’s not a manual. It’s a mirror. A compass. A quiet companion that gently encourages you to discover your own answers—answers to questions that may have been whispering inside you for a long time:
“Who am I—beyond the roles, the expectations, the need to please?”
“How free am I, really, in my relationships?”
“How often do I lose myself—just to fit in?”
Some passages may feel familiar. Not because they repeat what you’ve heard before, but because repetition is part of transformation. Healing doesn’t happen in one moment of clarity. It happens through remembrance—again and again. In the stillness of a sentence. In the echo of a truth that stirs something deep within you. That’s what this book is here for. Not just to be understood—but to be felt. It doesn’t just speak to your mind—it speaks to your heart.
It may move you. It may awaken questions you’ve buried. It may challenge you to pause—not because you’re overwhelmed, but because something inside you resonates. Something within you remembers. Something is ready to come home. Don’t be afraid of that feeling. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of courage. What you feel shows that something inside you is still alive. That you’re ready to step out of the shadow of adaptation. To stop losing yourself. To stop being addicted—to approval, to validation, to belonging that hides your true essence.
This book won’t impose anything on you. It won’t offer theories or ready-made formulas. But it will give you space—space for yourself. And if you’re willing to enter that space, this could be the beginning of something new: your path to freedom. Rewrite it. Step by step. In your own rhythm. In your own voice. And if, somewhere along the way, you finally meet yourself—then this book has fulfilled its purpose.
Because being “addicted to others” often doesn’t mean you need someone.
It means you’ve forgotten yourself.
It means you’ve lost your center trying to make everyone else happy. You’ve twisted yourself to be accepted. You’ve stayed silent just to avoid being left. You’ve fought, not to express truth—but just to be seen.
But all of this has a price: your freedom. Your strength. Your dignity.
This book won’t tell you to cut people out of your life.
It will encourage you to invite yourself back in.
It will help you see where you’ve sold yourself short—and where it’s time to reclaim what you once gave away. Not out of spite. But out of responsibility. For your life. For your relationships. For who you really are.
Maybe this book isn’t an ending—but a beginning. Not a break from others—but a return to yourself.
Because somewhere inside you, a life is waiting. A life that’s no longer borrowed—but truly yours.
And maybe it starts right here—with one sentence that moves you, and the courage to follow it.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Dependency on Others
The Pain Behind the Mask
Living for the Opinions of Others
The Mechanics of Dependency
The Fear of Rejection
The Longing to Be Needed
The Fear of Being Alone
The Fear of Meeting Yourself
Chapter 2: Beyond the Mask
The Role I’ve Been Playing
The Quiet Anger Behind the Smile
Mental Excuses and Inherited Lies
The Confrontation of Truth
Chapter 3: The Unfinished Separation
Developmental Stages: Childhood, Adolescence, Maturity
Why Adults Remain Emotional Children
Modern Rites of Passage
False Markers of Adulthood
From the Needy to the Self-Responsible
Chapter 4: The Art of Boundaries
Why Saying No Is So Difficult
From Guilt, Fear, and Submission to Inner Clarity
The Power of the Inner Yes – and the Clear No
The Art of Boundaries
Self-Respect Instead of the Compulsion for Harmony
Chapter 5: The Hidden Fear Behind Dependency
Existential Fears: Career, Money, Relationships, Loneliness
The Shackles of False Securities
The Escape into Conformity
The Fear of Being Alone
Worst-Case: What Really Happens If…?
Chapter 6: Stepping into Empowerment
The Decision for Yourself
Responsibility Is a Decision
What I radiate returns to me
Awareness Instead of Reaction
The Inner Alignment
Chapter 7: True Freedom Begins Within You
Love Without Dependency
From Mirror to Encounter
Closeness Without Neediness
Freedom and Relationship
The Human Being You Truly Are
Afterword
The Silent Call for Transformation
